By Funke Egbemode
Kudi, fine-girl-no-pimples, was one of those undergraduates who lived their lives on their own terms on campus. Kay-girl, as she was fondly called, was an ‘aristo’ girl. Small, small boys were not her thing. She liked them known and rich, politicians and business tycoons. The age or size of their bellies did not matter. They just needed to be loaded in their pockets but if they were loaded ‘downstairs’ too, ah, that was an added advantage. Once, according to Kay-girl, she had ended up with a rich, fat ‘sugar daddy’ whose only load was in his pocket. You know those guys who God just blessed with deep pockets because they are neither good-looking nor finely shaped. Their pot-bellies also rob their third legs of length and strength. But they have money and they spend it like it’s from a river that cannot dry. So, their girls ignore their deficiencies and focus on their bulging pockets.
Kudi lived the life and upon graduation, she used her ‘contacts’ to get a good job, nice digs and a fine ride. Then she met the most generous, good-looking, hot ‘sugar daddy’ of her life. Yes, he was hot everywhere, all over. Then came the warnings from everyone about the other part of Big Daddy (BD) that Kudi did not know.
BD’s wife is a witch.
Madam BD does not share her man.
All the girls he had dated have sad stories to tell.
BD’s girlfriends do not end well.
The warnings threw Kudi. She was scared even, but she convinced herself that BD was her last bus stop. He loved her and he loved him. In any case, what woman wants to share her man? Which wife wants to be promoted to ‘first wife’? No woman will willingly shift for another, including this Kudi but she wanted the soft, baby life. She assured her close friends that she knew what she was doing and she would show the madam of the house that she was there to stay. Kudi soon moved into the beautiful home BD bought for her, in her name too. She got pregnant soon after. Indeed, she got pregnant four times and had spectacular miscarriages. Her friends became really worried because the fourth miscarriage almost took her life. Kudi bravely assured them she would give BD children and laugh last.
True to her word, Kudi became pregnant again. When she made it to 36 weeks without miscarriage, her friends threw a big baby shower for her. Everybody thought the worst was over. Then, she woke up feeling feverish one morning, went to her doctor and all the tests showed that she was no longer pregnant! Whaaat? Her tummy was still as huge as it was the day before. Kudi swore she could still feel the baby’s movement. All tests and scans insist she was not pregnant after 36 weeks, after she had bought all baby things, set up the nursery. Long story shortened, Kudi is still carrying around her ‘load’, four months beyond her EDD (Expected Delivery Date).
Methinks, BD’s wife is responsible for Kudi’s endless pregnancy. Superstitious much? Yes, but if you have another explanation for how Kudi landed this hard on a hard surface, I’m willing to give you space to propound your theory. For now, my conclusion is Kudi ate food meant for the gods and now, she is stuck.
